when is the challenge coming, EINSTEIN?

ok.. i KNOW i've wrote about this multiple times before and i'm still wondering the answer. amanda used to tell me ALL THE TIME that she was gonna have me working so hard, that i wouldn't like her.. if she considers "working hard" wasting my time going on exercise machines that my living room could operate, just so i'd actually feel "constructive"- i'll pass. i was thinking REAL WORK.. like the kind where people didn't underestimate your abilities and coddle you into doing easy ass shit just because everyone thinks it's easier to underestimate you rather than ACTUALLY help you be CONSTRUCTIVE and actually doing something that requires brain cells to help you PROGRESS in life. NOT just stick a person on a fucking machine that MIGHT have been beneficial to me back when i was in a fucking wheelchair (OVER 15 YEARS AGO). i'm not gonna do easy ass shit just to make people feel like they're actually helping me because i'm getting too old for that fucking bullshit. I'M NOT GONNA GET ANY YOUNGER. so amanda- einstein, WHEN ARE YOU ACTUALLY GONNA MAKE ME WORK DOING SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY REQUIRES BRAIN CELLS? i know damn well that YOU would NEVER want this shit for yourself.. it's called "EMPATHY". learn it. it might get you further in life. i've went through that easy rehabilitation shit.. I AM CAPABLE OF MORE THAN JUST THAT BULLSHIT AND YOU'RE A NAIVE ASS IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA MAKE OPINIONS BASED ON WHAT SOME STUPID EXCUSE OF A "REHAB. FACIITY" SAYS OVER YOUR OWN FUCKING COUSIN. YOU'RE NOT CARING EITHER. you just don't wanna see someone progress to a level higher than you because it'd make you feel inadequate. drop the fucking ego and grow a heart. i've been through this shit of being held back from what i'm truly capable of for twenty three fucking years. i went through behind-the-wheel lessons REGARDLESS OF BRIAN PURPOSELY LYING BECAUSE HE'S A SELFISH ASS. i've failed that fucking driving program that courage center has at least three times because I DON'T HAVE A DAMN ADVOCATE WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME. james got his driver's license from them and he CAN'T even fucking walk. where's the "needs more therapy." excuse for him like they ALWAYS commented for me after i took the damn behind-the-wheel test? they're taking advantage of my lack of advocacy and kevin told me emptily, "YOU DON'T EVEN NEED YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE WHEN YOU'RE LIVING IN NEW YORK BECAUSE THEY HAVE GOOD TRANSPORTATION THERE!" so the dicks are using my own fucking goals against me. i'm OUT of here. i can't even progress in life in this state. THERE'S NOTHING HERE FOR ME. WHATEVER'S MORE CONVENIENT TO SOME SAD ASS EXCUSE OF A REHABILITATION INSTITUTE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR VULNERABLE UNADVOCATED CLIENTS! no more. go fuck yourself. AND YOU DICKS PROBABLY ARE DOUBTING THE PTSD DIAGNOSIS THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME BY MY PSYCHOLOGIST. WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING DEGREES OTHER THAN FUCKING ENTITLEMENT?! i can't progress in this environment- SO *OF COURSE* THERE'S GONNA BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME- THANKS TO MY SAD ASS EXCUSE OF SUPPORT AKA MY IGNORANT, ENTITLED ASSES OF FAMILY (except joe of course- who HAS made something of himself without the stupid "support" of this damn state.. the rest of the dicks have never left this state- and wisconsin DOESN'T count).